Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Ketchup Anyone???

Ah, last semester was probably the most fun I have had in terms of playing "catch-up". By that I mean I am still trying to finish assignments to absolve my incompletes. With that said you may now understand my severe dismay at the discovery that I will have to miss more classes due to future doctors appointments and tests. Unfortunately, these appointments HAVE to be with my doctors back home (which is in Austin-2
hours away from my dear Trinity University campus for those that do not know). This means not only do I miss classes for the times I am physically in the appointments, but the travel time to get there and back as well. I really have not many words to describe how completely overwhelmed and worried for my success this makes me feel except: SERIOUSLY?!?!? I mean missing a few weeks for swine flu and a kidney infection last semester were understandable, but this is just ridiculous. The worst part is that the reason I will keep having so many appointments is that they have yet to figure out what is wrong with me. Remember those pesky little nodules they found on my Thyroid? Well, I went to the Endocrinologist over spring break and she did a physical exam and said that she felt a growth much bigger than the 1cm one the last ultrasound I had on my Thyroid back in January found. Oh, Joy ;).

This makes about the 100Th doctor/specialist I have seen in the past few years. You see because this is not the first year of my academic career I have had to play the oh so fun game of catch-up. Just to give you some background as to why I am ever so exhausted with always having to do make-up work: December 7Th of my junior year in high school I and four of my friends were in a roll over car accident. Thankfully we were all relatively okay considering. Unfortunately, I had the worst of injuries between the five of us. I missed about 2-3 months of the spring semester of that year to deal with diagnosis/recovery from a mysterious back injury. I say mysterious because like this silly little Thyroid issue, it took them many months and multiple doctors to try and find out what exactly I had injured and how to help recuperate from it. To this day they still have only assumptions (probably I twisted and stretched my spinal cord and irritated the nerves to a severe extent- along with squishing a disk in my middle back and sever concussion) and I have accepted the fact that I will just have to live with some degree of this injury for the rest of my life. Long story short, it took lots of hard work and outside of school time to complete my junior year of high school, but I finally did. It was such a good feeling to have it out of the way and I was so thankful to not be behind anymore.

Unfortunately, last fall I was crushed to have to accept the fact of falling behind again. Furthermore, all of the recent issues I have been having just make me want to scream out of exhaustion( not that I am dramatic at all ;)).

So, if anyone out there has tips or words of encouragement on how to deal with this seemingly never ending cycle, I could really use them right now. Usually, I am the one who has it all together, but I feel that certain circumstances-especially ones that include the possibility of many different diseases such as cancer( yes, I have tried to ignore this possibility, but what with the appearance of growth in my nodules I can't help but to worry)-call for a little lack of control on my part.

But alas, I feel it is time to end this marathon of a blog post. The following are the upcoming events regarding my masochistic immune system (It really never can seem to stop attacking itself, can it?):
This Friday ( marking the 235452Nd day of classes I will have missed this semester) I have an appointment to get another ultrasound of what my best friend affectionately calls "little thyroid" ( a pun on the fact that it is an ultrasound which are, as I am sure you know, usually associated with babies ). This is so that they can tell if it has indeed grown enough for them to be able to do a biopsy of it. Personally I am tired of waiting. I just wish they knew what it was now, so that I could start to fix it :(. Along with this I still have been having my persistent sore throat, which is such a joy. Also, a fun new symptom seems to have appeared (I am beginning to think either I am going crazy or becoming a frustration-induced hypochondriac) which has to do with my breathing. It feels like a less extreme version of the feeling of trying to breath through a straw. You know, still getting air into your lungs, but you can just feel it is not enough.

Ah, fun times. Until next time, Oh Healthy Ones!

p.s. Just a disclaimer: I realize that things could be worse- I just feel the need to express how completely and utterly exhausted I am from being sick so often as a way to vent, so I can deal more effectively with life. So, I am most certainly not trying to disregard the suffering of people worse off than me. This is simply an account of one masochistic immune system and how it causes its owner to interact with the world :).

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